SOME THOUGHTS ABOUT KIDS

• Motherhood: If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!
• Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your car, and you get about the same results.
• To be in your children's memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today.
• The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere - and to let the air out of the tires.
• The right temperature in a home is maintained by warm hearts, not by hot heads.
• Parents: People who bare infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds.
• The joy of motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the children are finally in bed.
• Life's golden age is when the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car.
• Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
• A child outgrows your lap, but never outgrows your heart.
• God gave you two ears and one mouth... so you should listen twice as much as you talk.
• There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it.
• Adolescence is the age when children try to bring up their parents.
• You know the only people in this world who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.
• Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.
• Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions because they know all the answers.
• An alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don't have small children.
• Kids really brighten a household; they never turn off any lights.

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