Tam was walking along the beach one day, when his foot tripped on a partially buried bottle. Picking it up, Tam rubbed it to expose the label. Suddenly a cloud poured from the bottle and a huge Genie appeared.
"Thank you - oh, thank you for saving me from the prison I've been in. I've been in there for hundreds, no, thousands of years. As a expression of my overwhelming gratitude I will grant you one wish."
Tam knew exactly what to ask for: "I wish for Peace in Northern Ireland."
The Genie seemed confused: "Northern Ireland... Northern Ireland... I can't seem to remember... can you help me out a little?
Tam, who as a Boy Scout was always prepared, pulled out his pocket almanac and turned to the map of the world, recounting briefly the long-standing geopolitical instability of the area.
The Genie's eyes widen and he said: "Oh, yes, now I remember. Ah Northern Ireland! Whew. That's a tough one. You know, they've been fighting over there quite literally for hundreds of years. I hate to admit it, but I think that's more than I can handle. I'm sorry. Can you wish for something else?"
Tam, obviously crestfallen at such a missed opportunity, can think of only one other wish: "Could you get Scotland to win the Euro 2000 Play-Off against England?"
With this the Genie pauses, grimaces, then says, "Let's have a look at that map again."