Bob Levey, a columnist for the Washington Post, prints the Best T-shirts of each summer. His list for 1999 includes:

SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME

GOD MADE US SISTERS; PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS

IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING

AT MY AGE, I'VE SEEN IT ALL, DONE IT ALL, HEARD IT ALL... I JUST CAN'T REMEMBER IT ALL

MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS

PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES, SEEKS FROG

(spotted aboard a passing motorcyclist): IF YOU CAN READ THIS, MY WIFE FELL OFF

I SPEAK FLUENT PATRIARCHY, BUT IT'S NOT MY MOTHER TONGUE

WHAT IF THE HOKEY POKEY IS REALLY WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT?

I DIDN'T CLIMB TO THE TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN TO BE A VEGETARIAN

COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN... SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH

LIBERAL ARTS MAJOR... WILL THINK FOR FOOD

DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN

GRAVITY... IT'S NOT JUST A GOOD IDEA. IT'S THE LAW

IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN

IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED, SKYDIVING ISN'T FOR YOU

GET A NEW CAR FOR YOUR SPOUSE. IT'LL BE A GREAT TRADE

A DAY WITHOUT SUNSHINE IS LIKE NIGHT

FIRST THINGS FIRST, BUT NOT NECESSARILY IN THAT ORDER

IN AMERICA, ANYONE CAN BE PRESIDENT. THAT'S ONE OF THE RISKS YOU TAKE.